8 Lessons Society Can Learn From the LGBTQ+ Community
The LGBTQ+ community doesn’t get enough credit for all the positive examples, values, and activism that our community exemplifies.
Instead, the LGBTQ+ community is often underrepresented in mainstream culture and seen as a subculture.
We’ve talked a lot about sexuality and the LGBTQ+ community in our podcast, shifting her experience. We even have an entire podcast episode dedicated to the topic of what society can learn from the LGBTQ+ community.
Frankly, there are so many aspects of the LGBTQ+ community that society as a whole can learn from. The LGBTQ+ community doesn’t get enough credit for the contributions and the positive impacts that we have on society.
Instead, our community is often underrepresented and frowned upon. When in actuality, the LGBTQ+ community leads by example in regard to inclusion, acceptance, open-mindedness, activism, and creativity.
Unfortunately, there tends to be an ample amount of hate and judgment surrounding the LGBTQ+ community globally which is ironic, since the this community has done nothing but represent love and acceptance.
This article will feature the lessons that society as a whole can learn from our community. We want to spotlight the positive lessons and examples that should be applauded, recognized, and looked up to.
Lesson 1: Activism
A huge lesson that the LGBTQ+ community has led by example in, is activism. LGBTQ+ people are often the first activists to stand in solidarity with other oppressed groups because of the common understanding.
Members of the LGBTQ+ community stand in solidarity and in support of so many oppressed groups because we as a community, know what it’s like to have to fight for basic human rights.
We see members of the LGBTQ+ community stand in solidarity with other marginalized groups because of our personal experience with oppression. We saw it this year with the Black Lives Matter movement where in Los Angeles, Pride and BLM organized a march together in solidarity and in support of each other’s protests.
Lesson 2: Empathy
Similar to our point above about activism, the LGBTQ+ community can empathize more with other minority groups and those who have faced hardship because of our own similar experiences of injustice.
For centuries, the LGBTQ+ community has dealt with shame, fear, discrimination, hate, and violence from society. From being denied basic human rights, to being killed based on one’s sexuality, the LGBTQ+ community has been subject to discrimination simply for being who we are.
There are over 60 countries in the world where homosexuality is illegal and punishable by prison, whiplashes, stoning, and even death. The fight for equality is far from over.
The LGBTQ+ community is so accustomed to living their lives in silence in order to minimize the risk of experiencing discrimination and hate, which makes us much more likely to empathize with other oppressed groups.
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community teaches individuals a type of empathy that many simply are unable to relate to. Empathy is something that LGBTQ+ people can more easily understand. Society as a whole tends to have a difficult time with this. Instead, our society is fixated on traditional values and roles that are considered universally “correct.”
We at she. aim to prompt society to take off their rose-colored glasses, their traditional veil, and see the world for what it really is, diverse. When you recognize and respect diversity, then perhaps, we can begin to see equality.
No one is equal until all of us are equal. This concept is something that the LGBTQ+ community understands through the ability to empathize.
Lesson 3: Bravery
Another positive lesson that society can learn from the LGBTQ+ community, is that the very act of “Coming Out” demonstrates bravery.
Homophobic violence exists in every country and affects all people perceived to be sexually different, regardless of class, age, ethnicity, or gender. Globally, violence motivated by homophobia and transphobia is the third-highest category of hate crime, after race and religion.
Coming out in the first place and being different than what society tells us is the norm, is an act of bravery.
Heterosexuality is considered to be the norm and the default in our society. Straight people don’t need to declare that they are attracted to or sleep with the opposite sex. So it’s a shame that we expect LGBTQ+ people to have to declare this part of their identity to society.
We shouldn’t be putting people down for being queer, we should be applauding their bravery. The bravery to stand up for ourselves, to tell people who we are even when we’re unsure of the safety of our environment.
Lesson 4: Challenging Societal Stereotypes
A huge positive lesson that comes out of the LGBTQ+ community is that LGBTQ+ people can break down and challenge harmful stereotypes that only advance our society further.
In the queer community, a person’s gender identity, expression, and sexual orientation do not necessarily follow a linear pattern. The gay community is known for questioning everyday stereotypes about what a person is meant to be.
For example, we question what a woman is “supposed to be”, sound like, look like, say in certain situations. We challenge what a man is supposed to wear, not wear, speak like, move like. Individual expression and personal definition is the focus of our community.
In the LGBTQ+ community, people are themselves and are not interrogated for being true to who they are. Even if you are someone in the queer community who does want a traditional life, being LGBTQ+ forces you to think for yourself and question outdated norms in society that have been passed down as “tradition.”
But what’s so wrong with tradition, you might ask?
Many people fail to realize that most of our “traditions” stem from oppressive teachings, behaviors, and laws from a time so far back in history, that they’ve been diluted and glamorized into what we consider traditional.
Like what, you ask? Well, let’s look at the example of a woman taking her husband’s name. Many would say this is a traditional thing, respectful even to the person who’s name you would take. The fact is, taking a husband’s name originates from the property transfer that took place when getting married. A father would transfer the property of his daughter to her new husband, thus she would be metaphorically stamped with her husband’s name instead of her father’s. So, why do we still do this?
You may be thinking, “What has this got to do with the LGBTQ+ community challenging societal stereotypes?” Well, the LGBTQ+ community questions gender roles and expectations all the time.
There are so many gender stereotypes that hold women back that we don’t even realize, but there are also many gender stereotypes that hold men back too. Men are constantly being shamed for showing emotions, while women are too often boxed into the role of nurturer, caregiver, and homemaker.
These stereotypes and barriers, while they still certainly affect people of the LGBTQ+ community, are a lot less of a problem within LGBTQ+ relationships and friendships.
In LGBTQ+ relationships, there are no pre-existing gender roles put into place in comparison to a straight relationship, where certain roles are expected to be followed by the man, and others by the woman.
Of course, these pre-existing gender roles in any relationship do not need to be followed if that’s not what you want. It’s just worth pointing out that it can be more difficult to break out of those gender norms in a straight relationship versus a queer one.
In an LGBTQ+ relationship, society’s “gender roles” are irrelevant. In a sense, you make your own rules and end up dividing responsibilities instead of assigning them based on gender. Gender roles in gay relationships are not assumed.
Lesson 5: Acceptance and Open-Mindedness
People who are LGBTQ+ are automatically living a non-traditional life outside of society’s “norms.” Because of this, people in the community also have more tolerance and open-mindedness for other opinions and perspectives.
We’re not just referring to sexuality in this sense. The LGBTQ+ community is so open-minded and accepting as a whole. Society can definitely take a page from our book.
LGBTQ+ people want to hear about other people’s experiences to seek further understanding but also because we may relate to it. This is where the concept of intersectionality is important to consider. We all live different realities, and just because one thing is not your reality, doesn’t mean that it’s not somebody else’s.
The acceptance and open-mindedness in the LGBTQ+ community certainly contributes as a catalyst for change and equality.
Lesson 6: Creativity
The open-mindedness of the queer community has really motivated a lot of contributions to our culture and society. There is more of an acknowledgment and acceptance of diverse cultures, music, and art.
Through a queer lens, most works of art are interpreted openly and not judged or disregarded. Not only that, but sexuality can also inspire creativity and art. Sexuality can offer an interpretation of self-exploration in a way that traditional works of art may not be able to achieve.
Interestingly, many people are not aware that the ever-so-famous and religious Sistine Chapel, was painted by Michelangelo, a gay man. The Italian artist was even accused of turning the Sistine into a bathhouse because of his depiction of male nudes. Ironically, many people in history and today still use religion as the backbone of their anti-LGBTQ+ arguments. So, it seems Catholicism has contradicted itself big time in this instance.
All we’ve gotta say is, if you’re Catholic, the very chapel held in such high regard, was painted by a man who was known to have several male lovers. Even Renaissance Italy had a modern understanding of sexuality!
A great example of how sexuality can elevate creativity.
Lesson 7: Dedication to Be Parents
Reproduction in the LGBTQ+ community isn’t as straightforward as it obviously is for heterosexual, cisgender people. Ironically many people, particularly those from religious and conservative backgrounds, base their anti-LGBTQ+ comments on the fact that same-sex couples cannot procreate. This argument alone is easy for us to debate, but we’ll come back to that.
First of all, queer couples having children shouldn’t be frowned upon, they should be applauded. Applauded for their dedication to have children even without the means to reproduce with their partner.
LGBTQ+ parents still find a way to lovingly bring their child into the world, and because of this are even more appreciative when they do become a parent.
This appreciation and unconditional love are similar to how a straight couple who have the inability to reproduce would feel. If the religious basis for being anti-LGBTQ+, or if the societal discrimination against LGBTQ+ parenting is because of reproduction, then what are the standards for straight couples that have difficulty procreating?
The fact that there are so many places in the word that make it so difficult for same-sex parents to adopt children is such an ignorant mistake.
Lesson 8: Labels and Fluidity
Our eighth lesson that society can learn from the LGBTQ+ community is in regards to how we use labels. Heterosexual people are obsessed with labeling folks in society. Whereas people in the community are not so much. Of course, we have labels, but we don’t tend to use them as mental shortcodes for defining other people.
In society, we’re under the impression that it’s the gay community that loves to use labels when in reality, society often uses labels as a vocabulary to communicate oppression.
Think about it. LGBTQ+ people only have to come out in the first place because of the heterosexual society that we live in. Being heterosexual as we mentioned, is considered the “norm.” So if being straight wasn’t considered the default sexuality, we wouldn’t have to come out in the first place. We wouldn’t have the “gay” label.
We understand the ways in which labels are important. Using labels to connect with a community gives you an immediate sense of belonging and identity. However, labels can become problematic when we use them to completely define ourselves, or someone else. Labels can put us into a box that can end up being quite restricting.
To put it into perspective, the famous poet and performer from the 6th-century Greek island of Lesbos (where we get the term lesbian from), Sappho wrote about her love of women and her relationship with other women.
However, many historians assert that Sappho (where we get the term sapphic from) wasn’t a “lesbian” in our terms. This is simply due to the fact that there was no label for being a lesbian. Homosexual practices just were. Men were with both women and men, and women were with both men and women. Can you imagine such a world?
A painting of Sappho and Erinna in a Garden at Mytilene by Simeon Solomon in 1864.
Additionally, labels come with a lot of questions and oftentimes invasive, inappropriate questions. We did an entire podcast episode titled, the problem with labels where we discussed labels and the nosy questions that the LGBTQ+ community gets from society when identifying with a particular sexual orientation.
When people in mainstream society come into contact with someone from the LGBTQ+ community and learn of their label, they often have questions. A lot of these questions that come from society are most of the time just plain inappropriate. This is mainly because these questions don’t apply to straight, cisgender folks, and often times society sees the LGBTQ+ community as something to be amazed or entertained by.
It’s also important to mention that just because the experience of being queer doesn’t apply to you, doesn’t mean asking invasive questions is a way of “understanding.” It’s not learning if it’s inappropriate. In our experience, we’ve heard questions like:
- Have you ever been with the opposite sex?
- Is this just a phase?
- What’s your coming out story?
- What did your parents say about you being gay?
Since when does a label entitle someone to ask another person about their entire sexual history? Instead of asking invasive questions like these, you can listen. But more importantly, you can recognize the LGBTQ+ community as not something abnormal, but just different from you.
We still value our privacy when it comes to our sexual history, we don’t believe that a sexual experience is merely a phase but instead just part of being fluid, and we don’t all have a “coming out story.” In fact, LGBTQ+ people “come out” every single day in our society.
Final Thoughts
In some cases, society intentionally paints the LGBTQ+ community in a bad light, other times, they ignorantly attempt to understand which often comes across as being inappropriate. Those of us in the community and our allies, know better about what it is that we symbolize. There is so much love, positivity, and acceptance that comes from being LGBTQ+ and the world really needs to take note.
For those who want to be better allies, it’s the 21st century. Educate yourself, listen, and learn about the people walking around you who are not the same as you. Our world is diverse. Understand that. Respect that.
For more discussions, check out our podcast, shifting her experience (she.) on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. We release new episodes every Tuesday.
If you want to read more articles like this, check out our blog!
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shifting her experience.
